>chironsTactician [CT] began trolling goryCrushinator [GC] [CT] -(. .)-> Evenin, Pyrope [GC] H3Y M4N 1’M SO GL4D YOUR3 UP 1 H4D TO T3LL SOM3ONE ABOUT TH1S SH1T [CT] -(. .)-> Now this is just a wild stab in the dark [CT] -(. .)-> Is it related ter killin a lumberin palooka in a new and excitin way [GC] >:/ [GC] DO3S TH4T M34N YOU DONT W4NT TO H34R 4BOUT 1T [GC] W3LL OK [GC] JUST THOUGHT 1T MIGHT 1NT3R3ST YOU OR 4NYON3 3LS3 W1TH 4 S3NS3 OF FUCK1NG HUMOR 4ND/OR 4DV3NTUR3 [CT] -(. .)-> Never said that [CT] -(. .)-> Go on, shoot [GC] W3LL 1 DUNNO [GC] 1 DONT W4NT TO BOR3 YOU OR 4NYTH1NG [CT] -(. .)-> Nah [CT] -(. .)-> You know I’m always up for hearin bout this [GC] 4LR1GHT 4LR1GHT [GC] SO TH3R3S TH1S B1G SH4MBL1NG MORON OUT TO RU1N MY D4Y [GC] 4ND S3R1OUSLY H3 W4S B1G [GC] 4ND F4ST TOO [GC] SO 4NDR3 TH3 G14NT FUCK1NG ZOMB13 1S CH4RG1NG AT M3 SO 1 SHOOT OUT H1S L3GS [GC] TURNS OUT TO BE A B4D 1D34 B3C4US3 H3 C4N CR4WL 4T M3 3V3N F4ST3R L1K3 TH4T [GC] SO 1M B4CKP3D4L1NG 4S F4ST 4S 1 C4N WH1L3 SHOOT1NG AT H1M 4ND TRY1NG NOT TO RUN 1NTO ANY SM4LL3R UND34D BY M1ST4K3 [GC] 3QU1US [GC] 3QU1US 4R3 YOU 3V3N L1ST3N1NG [CT] -(. .)-> Sorry [CT] -(. .)-> I was just thinkin about what ter do with the troll corpse my bg left on the dining table [CT] -(. .)-> As you were saying [GC] OH M4N [GC] SO COOL [CT] -(. .)-> I guess [CT] -(. .)-> Just seems normal ter me [CT] -(. .)-> Probably like how mowing down maggoty chumps is normal fer you [GC] H3H H3H SO 4NYW4Y [GC] ASDDAXSXWDEEQQ12;;”;:„„„,JJJJJJ [CT] -(. .)-> I assume a lone undead or something jes got the jump on you, which seems ter happen an awful lot when talkin ter me [CT] -(. .)-> Still, I reckon yer competent enough ter not get killed, so when yer’ve made the sonnuva explode inter little bits give me a shout [CT] -(. .)-> I got somethin I think you might be interested in [CT] -(. .)-> ^That ain’t innuendo, either [CT] -(. .)-> Till then, Later
==> See if anyone interesting is online
You tire of looking around your room. You pull up a chair and see if anyone remotely tolerable is on.
Ah. Of course she would be. She never seems to sleep.
More silly ideas charge through your head with the force of a thousand muscular stallions. You deal with it by indulging all of them, except the urinating on the corpse part, because even you have to draw a line somewhere.
You stand on your recuperacoon to fondly regard your magnificent musclebeasts. Each picture has a special place in your heart. The sweet, innocent expression on the caped fellow. The attention to detail in the anatomical chart. The twelve abdominals on the mare.
Your name is XENJARIOZX KIESRLXI or something and you are the God-Tier Master of Space. Your strife specibus is everything that looks cool and you loot from your numerous defeated foes. You defeated every denzien in your session single-handedly, created about five new universes, (but were too modest to rule as a tyrant in any of them) ressurected all your teammates and filled all your quadrants. But then you had to go back in time for some reason and got decapitated by Equius’s overzealous bodyguard. It was totally Heroic because you’re just that awesome. Or maybe Just because you were a dumb one-off joke. Either way, you’re dead now, and making a stain on Equius’s floor.
> Confess your true love to the highblood of your choosing
Well, that sounds like a sure way of drawing attention to yourself and getting culled for it. Besides, anything to do with Vantas is completely unthinkable for obvious reasons. The Empress-to-be is off-limits for even more obvious reasons.
You… guess you’re on speaking terms with a couple of them? Still, Nitram is, well, Nitram, and all Captor does is moan and whine about how hard his life is because his Lusus bought him the wrong computer parts for his wriggling day or something.
You can’t imagine why you ever considered any of them a viable romantic partner in any quadrant! What a weird thought.
You’re sort of a freak, in more ways than one, as your friends and bodyguard kindly point out to you as often as possible. It’s because of your more freakish traits that have led to you constantly moving from abandoned hive to hive, and you have to admit, without your aforementioned helpful bodyguard and a good helping of luck, you’d have ended up being killed by the Empires various cronies long ago, ridiculous STRENGTH and all.
Your interests are wholesome, normal hobbies, such as recreational archery, appreciation of Alternia’s magnificent native fauna, abolishment of tyrannical regimes that cater only to the privileged few, sparring with anyone who won’t fall apart after two punches, and avoiding grisly extermination by Imperial Drones and/or Alternian patriots.
A young troll lurks in the shadows of his respiteblock. You may, in fact, be familiar with one or more incarnations of this young troll, and therefore know a few facts about him already, such as his name. However, for the purposes of the narrative, we’ll pretend you didn’t.